I have to admit twitter has become of my basic needs next to electricity, water and food.
On a friday morning that i would never forget. I woke up to do my regular schedule…..refreshing my twitter app for the latest news (read lugambo).
Checking my profile, voila, i had 500 followers.
The feeling of a bigwig then started developing (am still not one), i then sent my dear crush a DM (direct message).
One thing about twitter babes is that they only respond to DMs of bigwigs, so if you are a newbie first climb those stairs.
I started thinking what she would reply, what would she say if she saw what i said? What would i say if she responded? Would she send me her number? Would this be our first step to living “happily ever after”.
Ok before we proceed, you have to understand that i spent some weeks downloading her avis (avators), retweeting her jokes (which were not original) and occasionally stalking her TL ( timeline) just to find out what she was up to. Atleast i got to know her birthday, the course she does and how she liked fashion.
In my past time i would zoom her downloaded avis and imagine her telling me “remember when you replied my tweet with that funny joke, it literally killed me” (after which she prints a peck on my dimples (these are real).
Ok to be clear i didn’t send her a pick-up line coz those are so 2005.
I just texted a ‘hello’ which she replied ‘hi silver’.
Due to the shame i have i can’t tell u what i texted next but just know the reply was ‘i like you on the TL and i think we should just keep it at that’.
Suprisingly she had gone out with #OOMUF (One Of My Male Ugly Followers) but it hadn’t gone well, then i thought i would do better than him only to be heart broken and devastated.
She then proceeded to tweet ‘some of you are just meant to stay on the TL’.
From then i have moved on and now vibing #OOMFFHTH (One Of My Female Followers Hotter Than Her).
And that ladies and gentlemen is how i got my first twitter heart break.