Well if you haven’t had the chance of living in the Central Business District, I guess you had one of those chances to visit your rich uncle in Kampala. From that bus stage to where he lives, i guess you entered a taxi.
During a taxi ride, you meet all sorts of people, some worried about tomorrow, some happy because their salary was increased or for some, you just pity the side of the bed they woke up on.
Have you ever entered a leaking taxi and vowed never to use a taxi? But the next morning you grab the same taxi to work, that’s how much people love taxis.
Through my taxi journeys i noticed that some people just can’t fail to stand out….
1. The Campuser
She never asks the conductor for the fee of the journey because she has taken that route more times than the conductor.
She always gets the seat with the least interaction with other humans preferably the front seat. She is hard to talk to because music is always filling her ears.
She carries the exact amount so that she avoids asking the conductor for “balance”.
2. The GNLD Guy
The most irritating thing in life is meeting an attention seeking guy. This one will observe something about you and start a conversation.
When he notices that you are trying to ignore him, he starts grabing your hand to emphasize a point. You cannot be sure if he has a destination because he seems unbothered which stage the taxi has reached.
Be careful to listen to this guy because when you shout “mumaaso awo” he will start begging you to pay his fare because his wife is pregnant with twins and one of his kids has been admitted to Mulago.
3. The Kikuubo Hajji
This one will look at an arcade and tell you how it was put up by his younger brother. He then continues by telling you how he has shops in Kikuubo and how he’s planning to expand his business. One question that bothers me is that aren’t such people are supposed to be driving at worst a harrier? Everything he says you have to respond with a “…oli mutuufu muzeeyi”.
The only way you can avoid this one is to plug in your earphones or fake a call.
4. The Muzigo Nalongo
This one is the most irritating of them all. She will focus her energy on making everyone in the taxi wish their destination was 20 seconds away.
Before entering, she will argue with the conductor how he hikes the fare. When the conductor starts demanding for his “tafaali”, she will hand in hers and immediately command for her “balance”.
You should pray the seat next to hers is not yours because when her chinese phone rings, not only the ringtone but also her voice will make your ears deaf.
5. The Serene guy
When this one enters the taxi, both the young and the old ladies will start ogling.
He smells fresh and clean, looks sophiscated and holds an expensive phone. He tends to form a cordial relationship with whoever is seated next to him. So in case you came with the apple of your eye, hide her under the seat.
If his seat is not taken, girls will fumble to get it.
There are many more but my ink just ran out, till I buy a new pen.