In the world of soccer, there are 3 possible places for you to play a match, let me give you a practical example of Uganda.
1. A home match is when Angola came to Namboole and given our home crowd, we managed to beat them (we never lose at home)
2. An away match is when Uganda went to Egypt and lost the match.
3. Then there is the neutral ground, this was in Morocco when Uganda lost to Senegal a few weeks ago.
(don’t we ever win an away match?)
As you can see, the home ground is where players have all the confidence and prowess with fans behind them blowing vuvuzelas.
Ok back to the matter…..
The topic is a guy visiting a babe.
Women emancipation has really changed things because of late, ladies own posh cars and sleep in luxurious apartments.
So when dating, phrases like “your place or my place?” tend to come up.
As usual men are supposed to control the relationship because we have the balls. But when a situation arises where you have to play the away match, some rules have to be followed.
Behaviour
Just like how you travel to another country and arrive at the airport, the culture has to be respected.
Don’t be so drunk because you may say words which will earn you an exit at 2:00am.
Never have smelly socks, these will get you expelled at the entrance when you start removing your shoes..
Always take a shower before you visit and put on that cologne she bought at your birthday.
Some of these small things can tremendously mess with her libido.
Visit your local kafunda of Mama Ndogo and get your share of your normal food because you don’t want to arrive there and she hands you a small plate of fries as your supper.
“A car can’t perform well in reserve.”
The real match
From the time the referee (her) blows the whistle, the odds are against you (like 1;50).
Let her be in posession of the ball at all times and if she decides that you change the formation to 4-5-1 from 4-4-2, just play along.
If she ends the match, just believe and go to the dressing room.
Safety
Definately you have to carry your own shin guards in case of any dangerous tackles which may injure you.
Carry out investigations before you visit her, be sure that you are the only bull around that night. You never want to leave in the morning with a broken jaw.
As expected, unlike her who can shower and wash all her clothes while at your place, your time is always limited.
So early in the morning, pick your shoes and leave immediately!
Be blessed
The bachelor in Kabale 